i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
