Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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