Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
he's single and there are thong briefs.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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