I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
