i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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