Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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