Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
