You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i just had sex bonerless
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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