ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
