Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
