break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
