your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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