I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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