Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
