morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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