If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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