I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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