My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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