butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
