Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Please, let me fuck your mom
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
