I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
its liver damage thursday
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
