I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He better not be in your backpack
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
