mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
