so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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