2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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