The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
