he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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