What a fucking waste of an outfit
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
