He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
