just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
