he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
