I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
