Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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