me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
