you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
