420 ftw
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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