Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
