You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
