I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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