1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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