what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
