Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
