last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So. Much. Porn.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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