P.S. I can't hear my feet
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
