i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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