I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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