OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
