so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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