Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
