another moral hangover. fuck.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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