Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
