i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
