What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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