If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
