Soap is not a condiment
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
