My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
