I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize