I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
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He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
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PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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