I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he was CRYING into my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm really busy with my period
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