and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
